do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
