i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
