Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Still dying that you shit outside
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
