This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
