I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
