What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
