We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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