Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
