Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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