Your face is a jimmy john
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
