Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize