Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
