Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
