She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just gift wrapped bread.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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