Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
