I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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