Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
