No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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