Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
