Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
