I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
