Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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