We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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