Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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