so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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