please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
