Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Too much gin, very little bucket
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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