This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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