my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
