how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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