glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
