I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
