yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
