i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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