I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Let's get the cat blown out
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
