You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
