Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
