i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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