Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
