eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
