awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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