Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
