just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
