I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
