sorry about calling you the devil all night.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize