i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Randomize
