first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
