Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
