all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
