Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
