They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
