we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
