Porn is love you can see.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
