We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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