so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
