We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
