I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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