I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
