Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
