u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
