I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
