Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
