lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
