as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
