if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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