I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She bit a glass in half.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
