Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
