yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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