Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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