i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
