I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
