Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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