I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
