Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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