I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
